Stage Fright

My Uncle Howard loved to play the organ, as a matter of fact, he played for his church every Sunday.  When I was about 7 years old, Di was 13, we bought a second hand organ and took lessons.  Diane was really good at learning it quickly and became so good the teacher wanted Diane to play at weddings, funerals and other events with her.  But she was so stubborn she refused to continue her lessons.  Since I was only 7, my legs were too short to reach the foot pedals, so I had to use extension pedals.  They fit right over the regular ones.  I loved to play the organ at home so practicing was not a problem, it was a joy.  Our first organ recital was scary for me.  As a kid I was super shy, and my face turned red so fast and became so bright red, then I would start to sweat and get nervous.  When my turn came to play my pieces that I had practiced for hours, and I knew them by heart, I got up and began.  My pieces were: 1) Beautiful Dreamer, and 2) Annie Rooney.  As I sat there I was so proud that I knew them so well, that when I glanced over at mom and dad, I noticed everybody was watching me!!!!  Some how I thought that just your parents would be listening to you.  So I started to cry and jumped down from the stool to run directly into mom's arms.  She told me I was being a big baby, that I needed to get right back and play my songs or I could not take lessons anymore.  So I told her I don't want lessons anymore if I have to play in front of everyone!!  The recital continued on, Diane was wonderful and got a big round of applause.  But she did not want to practice anymore, so we sold the organ.  That made me sad and I cried because I really loved playing at home, so why couldn't we still keep the organ???  That I guess was my punishment for being such a baby and not performing in a recital.  Maybe I could have grown out of it but we would never know, the organ was gone.  One Christmas Diane got a little cord organ because she was so good at playing.  She could not have cared less, she was done with it forever.  Then I begged for us to keep it so I could play on it.  To my surprise they said we could!!!  Everyday I played on that cord organ, it may have been with one hand but I was playing.  Only one book came with it that showed which cord to play at which time, that was the only time I could use both hands.  When I had to stay at home with grandma (because Diane refused and got to go with mom and dad all the time) I would play songs for her.  She sometimes sang along, or kept time with her foot, or clapped out the timing, until she told me that was enough and to watch some TV for awhile.  Sometimes I read to her, because she didn't see very well.  With family members I was not as shy and could talk a mile a minute.  Grandma would tell me that my mouth ran like a clapper to a goose's ass.  It was many years before i knew what that meant, once I really watched the geese poop.  But I still like to play around with my piano, when I am alone.  It brings back good old memories of grandma, Uncle Howard and many of my mom's relatives could play any instrument by ear.  Even my mom could play music by ear, those were good times.  So concert pianist was not in my future or any stage profession where people could watch me.