Hoe---ha!

One day my cousins wanted me to spend the night, this was at Uncle Raymond's house, of course.  So when my folks dropped off the stayed to visit while all the kids went out to play.  We were playing in the corn crib with dolls, probably I was maybe 7 years old.  After mom and dad left, one of the kids did something to get into trouble.  At Uncle Raymond's it did not take much to be in trouble.  If you looked grumpy, he would tell his kids to stop dragging their damn lip on the floor before they tripped over it.  Sometimes he asked what the heck(*&**) was up their butt to make such a face and if it did not change it was a literal kick in the pants and to bed with them.  This day, I can't even remember what was done that set Uncle Raymond into orbit,  he hollered for all of us to come to the house.  We were outside and he made us stand in a straight line facing him.  He warned us if we lied we would be in bigger trouble than we were in now.  Whatever that meant??  So he asked which of us had done this wrongful thing.  Nobody admitted to the crime which infuriated Uncle Raymond, and he stopped at each one of us, me included, grabbed our chin rather too tightly, I thought, pulled our face up to look directly into those anger blazing eyes.  He asked us directly if we were the one who had done it, and again warned us of the consequences, which was a good beating on the backside.  All I knew for sure was neither I or the cousin I was playing with had any part of the incident.  Since nobody owned up to the act, we all, each and every one of us, had our butts whipped really  really hard!!!!!!!  We then were told to go to bed till dinner, except for the boys who had chores to finish.  When dinner was over we girls had to do dishes, clean the table, and take out the slop pail to the pigs, yuk!  Since there was still no confession, instead of watching T.V. and getting homemade ice cream, we had to go back to bed for the night.  He made sure we understood there was to be No noise, whispering, laughter or anything of the kind or he would line us all up for a second helping of butt warming.  No thank you!!  In the morning after breakfast, he loaded us into the station wagon with hoes, and a jug of ice water, we were off for a day of hoeing sugar beets.  Man those rows are long when you are 7 years old!  It takes forever to get to the other end, just to come back down 2 different rows looking for weeds.  He yelled at me several times cause I kept hoeing the beets out not the weeds.  Crap, they all looked the same to me, green!!!  After twice down and twice back then down again I had to go to the bathroom.  We did not even have the water out with us, it was back in the car and I was thirsty!!  So I asked Uncle Raymond if I could get a drink and use the bathroom at Mr. Laudy's house.  We knew him and got eggs from him sometimes, I really nice gentle man that spoke slowly and quietly, but liked to joke around with us.  Uncle Raymond stood up straight and told me I could go the the bathroom after we hoed at least 6 to 8 more rows.  WHAT!!  I had to really go!!  After we finished these 8 rows, we could get a drink and use the restroom, and then finish the field to get lunch.  Was this the twilight zone?  My parents never treated us like this, they were nice and fun and would let us use the bathroom when we needed to.   Sure they had tempers, but I really tried not to ignite that fuse very often!!  So, I stood in my half finished row looking at him in disbelief.  I had enough of this treatment, I dropped my hoe in the row, and proceeded to walk up to Mr. Laudy's house at the risk of another spanking.  I had to go potty for real!  He was just yelling  at the top of his lungs for me to stop, get my little tail(*&*) back in my row, pick up that hoe and finish as I was told.  I did not stop, turn around, acknowledge his orders, or even hesitate, I was determined to poop!!  Mr. Laudy was surprised to see me, he knew Uncle Raymond's drill.  I thanked him for letting me use his facilities and instead of returning to the field, I got a long drink of cold refreshing water and decided to take a nap in the back seat.  I knew they would be out in the field for sometime, so I relaxed, waiting for the spanking that was stirring inside Uncle Raymond's mind.  I was in trouble anyway, so why not make it worth the effort Uncle Raymond was going to put into my punishment.  When they finished the field, I was well rested and quite happy to see everyone, I was bored, hot and ready for mom and dad to pick me up.  Never again did I spend the night in that house or ever was punished by Uncle Raymond!  I am not sure if he was too upset at me when he returned to the car, or if he worked out his anger hacking at the weeds, but that day I did not get a spanking or punished in any shape or form for leaving the field.  His kids were in 3rd degree shock that I did not get whaled on or punished for my actions.  I told Uncle Raymond he could do whatever he wanted to me, but when I say I need the restroom, I WILL use the restroom., so spank away!  He had no comment.  My future career was not in agriculture for sure!!